Time to StudyI found this little comic gem on a random blawg I found while looking something up about law school exams and class stuff in general. It made me giggle and laugh - temporarily loosening the knot of worry and nerves that sits somewhere underneath my heart and my stomach. At least I have a vague notion of what I'm up against.
As I write this, I have approximately 589 hours until my first exam. And I’ve read approximately 3000 pages in all of my classes combined. So if read about 15 pages an hour, I can read everything again twice, spend 50 hours per class on outlining and doing practice exams, spend 30 hours memorizing the Uniform Commercial Code, 6 hours reading Glannon’s for Civil Procedure, and still have time to see a movie. But not Harry Potter – it’s too long. Maybe Adam Sandler’s cartoon. It’s only 71 minutes. If I time it right, I can even see half the previews too.
But I’m forgetting something. A couple of things, actually. Like sleeping. And eating. And brushing my teeth. Although if I don’t waste time eating, I suppose I don’t really have to brush my teeth. Or go to the bathroom. This can turn out to be quite a plan. Although to stay awake for 24 straight days, I probably need to drink some coffee, and then of course I’ll have to go to the bathroom. So I don’t know. I may be stuck.
One more thing I’m forgetting. That I’m not insane.
I was going to bring all my books home with me, but then I remembered I don’t have a pack mule to carry them, so that’s not going to happen. It’s come down to my contracts casebook or underwear – I’m still deciding which one’s more important. I actually spent time last night contemplating tearing apart the binding of my criminal procedure book and ripping out the 300 pages we read, just so I don’t have to take the whole book home with me. But, once again, I remembered that I’m not insane, so I stopped.
I’m falling into the trap of overscheduling my time at home. On Tuesday, I’m meeting two friends for lunch, another friend for coffee, three friends for dinner, two more friends to see a movie, and one friend to carry my casebooks around for me all day so I can study in between. Actually two friends. Like I said, the books are too heavy.
Really, it’s just a waste of energy (not to mention a valuable twenty minutes I could otherwise spend memorizing one more federal rule of civil procedure) to even think about studying when I know that while I’ll be a good boy when I get home – take my books out of my bag, stack them neatly on my desk, take out some highlighters, boot up my laptop – after about twenty minutes, the next time I see the word “assumpsit” will be when I pack the books to come back here two weeks later. If I really get any studying done it either means I don’t have enough friends, or that law school has actually succeeded in turning me insane.
Orientation begins on Tuesday, ends on Friday and then classes start the following Tuesday. I still need to get all my books.
I've been thinking about past friendships a lot lately. Friendships that I've lost haunt me. I always wish I could have said what I know now to be what I should have said at the time. Things that were important, things that mattered to the both of us or to our group of friends.
I barely talk to the girl that was my best friend growing up in New York City. We bonded in third grade over the fact that we were the only two girls in a class of 8. People often thought of us as sisters - after all we were both blonde, blue-eyed and ridiculous. She was the adventurous one, the thrill-seeking one. She loved to read, but she was also too mature for her age in some ways. I think we sometimes lived vicariously through each other. I wanted to be more outgoing, less shy with the boys (after all, she convinced to write an anonymous love letter to the boy that I was madly in love with, even if everyone said he had elephant ears. I wrote it, and even placed it in his desk during recess. He didn't appreciate the gesture very much, haha). She got to dress the way she wanted. I wore what my grandmother thought appropriate - which was slightly on the old-fashioned side of things. Oh well. I think she liked the atmosphere that my parents and my grandmother exuded around my house in general. We spent a lot of time with each other in those days....And then. Then I started going to a private school, met new friends, got distracted - came into my own. Rebelled against classical music. She and I simply drifted apart - but I'm friends with her on the infamous Fbook - and see her pictures and sometimes talk to her. The connection isn't there anymore though, at least I don't think. I don't ever want to lose contact with her - we did a lot for each other when we were young. We've just grown too different I think.
Other friendships flash in my mind. The one in middle school, for instance. I actually fell in love with him - at least what I called love. I fell in love with the friendship and then with him - and I thought - well what else does a 12yr-old girl think about? I think I made it too obvious though - and he didn't like that. Anyway, I moved away in the fall, just after I realized how I really felt about him - and it was too late to do anything about it by then. I never got to talk to him ever again really. The fact that I lost that friendship always leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I know better now how to handle those kinds of situations.
At least I thought I did. That was another thing senior year taught me. Falling in love with best friends is not a smart choice. Nor is realizing it when it's way too late to do anything. It's a very bad thing to do. A very annoying thing. It seems to be a regular theme in my life though. I have great guys as friends, fall in love with them, finally get up the courage to tell them. The one of two things inevitably happens: a) I tell them - and they never talk to me again or b) it's too late to say anything to them - and I'm left with words on my lips that stay there - constantly reminding me of what I should have said and that I should have said them earlier.
Then after these musings, I come to the friendships that I didn't mess up. Where, somehow, I said or did or the right things or at least tried to - and my attempts were well received. Then I get a giant smile on my face - and I'm happy. Very happy. There's a few friendships that I honestly don't think I could have lived without. A few, special people with whom I formed a strong, deep and loving friendship that I cannot even begin to imagine how it happened. I don't know how we became so close, and I don't question it. I love them unconditionally and would do everything I possibly could for them. And since a majority of them are far away - I feel as though part of me is always somewhere else. With them.
I don't know what else to write anymore - Morpheus is rather successfully seducing me into his luxurious bed on top of Mt. Olympus. So I think I'll leave my musings for now - and maybe even attempt another part of my civ pro stuff. I discovered that the subject of pleadings - isn't that gripping....
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